The Skunk Blog

I just realize that I haven’t done a “Letter To” in awhile.  No better time than the present.  For those of you who don’t know me, I have an obsession with the iPhone.  I want one so bad I can taste it…and it taste good.  So here it is, Letter to iPhone owners.

Dear iPhone owner,

I fucking hate you!  You and your perfect little phones.  You just think you are so cool running your apps, playing your games, and knowing fucking everything!  Must be nice to be able to do ANYTHING from ANYWHERE!  I fucking hate you!!!  I saw you yesterday, walking on the street.  You were talking to some friends, discussing what you wanted to eat for lunch.  You said “I’ll just look on my iPhone”, then you shook your phone, and like that…. you were navigating to the best Mexican restaurant in the neighborhood.  FUCK OFF!!  You have no right to do that!!  You aren’t allowed to know what places suck without trying them first!  It’s not fair… it’s just not fair!

And what’s with this Shazam app?  It tells you what song is on the radio?  What the fuck!  What fun is that?  Google maps…now that’s useless.   Why would I want to know how to navigate by foot, public transit, or car…half the fun is getting lost in the city, right?

You just think you are so better than the rest of us….us…Verizon users!  Well guess what, we have a Map for that!  And that map tells us, if we had a phone that was cool, and had a great touch screen browser, we could take advantage of the best 3G coverage in the US fucking A.  Oh yes iPhone owner, I have a dream… I have a dream that one day, little iPhone babies will be born on the Verizon network.  Until that day arrives we have DROID… and DRIOD Does… Does what, I’m not sure… but it Does!

Know this Mr. iPhone owner.  I have my eye on you.  When you least expect it, I will take your dear little baby….then what….what will you do?  You will be lost…oh so lost Mr. iPhone owner.  I will laugh at you!  So Mr. iPhone owner, go fuck yourself… I’m sure there is an app for that!

-The Skunk