The Skunk Blog

So I have been in Ohio for a month now.  In that time I can already feel the pounds stacking on.  I have been debating starting on P90X or some other exercise program.  Let’s face it, if the Skunk is in shape, he has a higher likelihood of snagging some hot young trim.  Over the past week I have been debating creating my own in depth training program based on Skunk wisdom.  This training routine is not for the week of heart.  It will take discipline, and hours of hard work.  Ultimately it will lead to six pack abs, and a firm ass.  For details, please read on….

 Skunk S90XXX Fitness Program

Welcome to the S90XXX training program.  This program is intended for those who seek to improve their mental and physical health.  S90XXX is a grueling 9 week training program intended to help you reach sexual nirvana.  Please talk to your physician before starting any exercise program.

Week 1- Conditioning

The first week will be simply used for conditioning.  You will work independently. 

Diet:

Breakfast:  Two oranges and a yogurt.

Lunch: Anything you want under 1000 calories

Dinner: Protein Shake and Salad.

Exercise:

Morning:

• 5 minutes of streching
• 25 minutes of moderate masturbation.  Men, only 1 orgasm.  Women, no more than 3 orgasms. 

Evening:

• 100 crunches
• 10 pushups
• 35 minutes of moderate masturbation.
• 15 Minutes of high intensity masturbation.  Men, at least 2 orgasms.  Women, Minimum of 3 orgasms.

Repeat daily for the first six days.  Rest on Sunday, this is Gods day! 

Week 2- Trimming

In this week you will dedicate yourself to trimming your waistline.  Each day will consist of two workout sessions.  The morning session will be a solo session.  Your evening session will require a workout partner. 

Diet:  

Breakfast:  Two apples and a yogurt.

Lunch: Anything you want under 800 calories

Dinner: Salad with 6 oz of protein of your choice

Exercise:

 Morning:

• 5 minutes of stretching.
•  15 minutes of moderate masturbation. 
• 25 minutes of high intensity masturbation. 
• Minimum of 1 orgasm for both men and women.  No more than two orgasms for morning masturbation session.
• 150 crunches
• 15 pushups

 Evening: (Requires Workout Partner)

• 5 minutes of stretching
• 150 crunches
• 15 pushups
• 15 minutes of oral sex giving
• 15 minutes of oral sex receiving
• 10 minutes of moderate missionary sex.
• 15 Minutes of moderate Cowgirl sex
• 15 Minutes of high intensity doggy style.
• Minimum of 1 orgasm for both men and women.  No more than four orgasms for evening sessions.

 Bonus Calorie burning:

 Add these exercises for a more intense workout session. (Pick two)

• 5 Minutes of 69
• 5 Minutes of high intensity missionary
• 5 minutes of high intensity Cowgirl
• 25 ass smacks

Repeat daily for the first Five days.  Rest on Sunday, this is Gods day!

Week 3: Group Training

Group training is essential to any workout program. Group participation encourages individuals to push themselves in achieving their body sculpting needs.  If you are looking for group participants we suggest you sign up for Adult Friend Finder (AFF) or Swapper.net.  You may also find workout partners at your local swingers club.  You can always Google “Swinging Workout Partners.” to find other people participating in the S90XXX program.

Diet:

Breakfast:  10 oz of pineapple and a yogurt. (Pineapple has been proven to make spunk taste good!)

Lunch: Anything you want under 600 calories

Dinner: Protein Shake and Salad.  (Women may replace protein shake with 3 average to large size servings of semen.)

 Exercise:

Morning: Requires 1 workout partner

• 5 minutes of stretching
• 300 crunches
• 25 pushups
• 5 minutes of oral sex giving
• 5 minutes of oral sex receiving
• 5 minutes of moderate missionary sex.
• 5 Minutes of high intensity Cowgirl sex
• 5 Minutes of moderate doggy style.
• 5 minutes of intense sex, any position
• Minimum of 1 orgasm for both men and women.  No more than two orgasms for evening sessions.

 Evening: Requires a minimum of 3 workout partners, with preferred class size of 10+

• 5 minutes of stretching
• 300 crunches
• 25 pushups
• 9 minutes of oral sex giving.  Rotate every 3 minutes to new workout partner
• 9 minutes of oral sex receiving.  Rotate every 3 minutes to new workout partner
• 10 minutes of moderate sex.  Rotate after 5 minutes to a new workout partner.
• 5 Minutes of high intensity train sex.  Minimum train should be 3-5 workout partners.
• 15 Minutes of moderate doggy style.  Rotate every 5 minutes to a new workout partner
• 5 minutes of intense sex, any position.  Bonus points for anal or double penetration.
• Minimum of 3 orgasms for both men and women.  No more than five orgasms for evening sessions.

You should work out a minimum of 5 days for best results.  You can work out on Sunday; you’re going to burn in hell anyways!

Repeat weeks 2 and 3 for the duration of your workout plan.  Guaranteed results in only two weeks!  Read what some of our customers are saying:

“S90XXX saved my life!  I have lost 4 dress sizes in only 3 weeks.  The group workout sessions blew my mind!”

-Debbie, Dallas

“S90XXX is amazing.  The program is very flexible, and I have had amazing results.  I rotate in a conditioning week every month.”

 John, NYC

“S90XXX is like sex, but only better!”

Sally, LA

“S90XXX has made me feel 15 years younger.  People stop when they see my new rock hard body!”

Tim, SD

“S90XXX is amazing.  I have the body of an 18 year old again!”

Betty, St. Louis

S90XXX allows you to take control of your life, and your body.  Feel young again, and have fun doing it.  For a limited time only, the S90XXX is 100% free.  All we ask is that you send pictures of your workouts and before and after pictures.  That’s right 100% free!!  Act now before this offer is gone!

S90XXX is a high intensity workout program.  Please consult with your physician before starting on the S90XXX program.  Safe sex is encourage, but not required.

-The Skunk