If you are a conservative, stop reading now.  If you don’t you will claim I am some type of screaming liberal…and you would be far from the truth, but what the fuck do you care, you’re always right anyways!

The Real Problem:

The real problem isn’t the fact that we have illegal aliens; the problem is they pay no taxes.  This puts a strain on some of the public services such as hospitals, schools etc.  This additionally pisses off those who pay a majority of the tax burden that offset these expenses…the middle class, or as I like to call them, the working poor.

The Solution:

I know these people came here illegally, but let’s face it, they’re not going anywhere.  Most illegals come from poor countries.  They came here for the same reason my family came here, for a better life.  Can you fault them for that?  So here is the solution.  Give them all amnesty and a fucking green card.  Make them pay taxes and move on.

After the amnesty program, you need to stop more from coming.  That’s relatively easy.  You don’t need a fancy fence or border control guards.  You need one simple thing, employer fines.  If you are an employer and you hire an illegal you get an immediate fine of $1 million dollars for the first offense.  Second offense is $10 million, third is $100 million.  Simply put, there will be no jobs for illegal’s, so therefore there will be no reason to come to our wonderful country without going through the proper channels. 

That’s all I got.  It’s pretty fucking simple… but does everything really need to be so hard?  Seriously!

Skunk in 2012!  Let’s smell it up people!!!

-The Skunk!

For this installment I want to write my Bucket List.  Many people start their Bucket List when they realize they have 3 months left to live.  I however want to make mine now, and have something to look forward to accomplishing in my life.  My daily life is everything but interesting lately!  Sometimes I contemplate the meaning of life and my meager existence.  I don’t want to have that feeling EVER again!!  My purpose in life will be fulfilling this fucking list…and being a good father of course, that doesn’t even need to be said…right?

So here is my bucket list. I reserve the right to add items to this list.  But you can be assured I will put every effort into completing this list over my life.  Once the list is complete…well, I guess I can explore the parallel universe in peace. 

1. See Pearl Jam Live (Completed May 6, 2010)
2. See U2 Live
3. Go to Rome
4. See the Mona Lisa
5. Take the Trans Atlantic cruise to Europe and Backpack like a nomad
6. Run a ½ Marathon
7. Mardi Gras
8. Carnival in Rio
9. Fiji-whatever the fuck you do in Fiji…just take me there
10. Go on a Safari in Africa
11. Run for Political Office (and lose I hope!)
12. Write a book, and have it published
13. Visit Asia including Thailand. Japan, and India
14. Meet an Aborigine in Australia
15. Own a Cabin and Property
16. Whitewater Kayak
17. See Ohio State win a National Championship in Football (In Person)
18. See an OSU v. Michigan game in The Big House
19. Kentucky Derby infield
20. Go to a Rave in Europe…shit looks cool!(Option to exclude this if Raves lose popularity in Europe!)
21. See a Game in The Swamp
22. Finish my College Degree
23. Get my MBA
24. Become a CEO
25. Visit Greece
26. See the Great Pyramids
27. Get over my fear of flying (required for 90% of this list!)
28. Whitewater raft the Forks of the Salmon River ID
29. See the Grand Canyon
30. Yosemite
31. San Francisco
32. Montana
33. Rocky Mountain National Park
34. Front Row tickets at a concert
35. Learn a foreign language
36. Have a six pack (Not to be confused with drinking one!)

Ok so that is it for now.  If you have an ideas for my list please comment.  And if you think this post is rather tame….your right!  So go fuck your mother!  Maybe that should be #37…go fuck your mother…ADDED!

-The Skunk!

This past week I caught Food Inc. for the 2^nd time.  If you haven’t seen it you really need to.  You will never want to buy anything that isn’t organic again.  Who would have guessed that Americans could make the most mechanized and industrial food process in the world?  It all comes down to profits and investors.  That being said, you can pretty much gather we are all eating nothing but shit for the benefit of the corporations.  Fuck the system, buy organic and from local farmers markets.  We have power as consumers to sway industry to get what we deserve! 

In other news, Tony Horton is a fucking asshole!  This guy is seriously kicking my ass on a daily basis.  So far I have eaten more food than humanly possible and have managed to give myself tennis elbow!  What the fuck!  I feel like an old bastard.  Good news is, the Skunk is still in high demand.  This trend should only get better as my weight drops.  I already look younger than my fellow Ohioans (Big fucking Fat ASSES!) so by summer I should be able to troll campus looking for young pussy! (18+ of course)  AWESOME!!  I would love a hot young 22 year old to sit on my face… Now I’m hungry… or is that horny?  Fuck, who cares, I’ll eat some soy nuts and fantasize… Isn’t life just grand!

On a lighter note, I found the three Asian girls living in Columbus.  They wanted me… like all three at one time!  True Story… guess you will have to wait for the book to read the story.  I know… I’m a tease, but you like it!

 -The Skunk

I had to transport some furniture which required I put down my seats for several days, opening up the back of my 4Runner to fit in some beds and tables. During this time the smell almost vanquished. After a few days I put my seats back in their normal position and the smell returned. I then narrowed down the smell to something under one of the seats. The problem here is that I already looked under the seats. Nothing. This smell was coming from an invisible force…

This past Thursday I had to take a trip outside in the sun… a rare occurrence this time of year. I had to wait on my employee to do some paperwork at the DMV. While waiting outside I decided to tear my car apart yet again. I looked everywhere, the trunk, the engine, the seats…. I could not find the source of the smell. I pushed the driver’s seat back and peaked under. Something caught my eye. Three tater tots were wedged in the steal support beam for the chair. I took them out and threw them on the ground. They were from Sonic! My buddy Cooper and I stopped at a Sonic in Oklahoma on January 11th. I remember the tots taking a fall from the bag and disappearing between my seat and the console. Little did I know these three little tater tots would rot, and smell like death. As promised, I found the assailant, the perpetrator of pungency. I exterminated it, and the funk of the Skunk has returned!

-The Skunk

So the premise of this site is that you go to the homepage, attach a cam, and then connect to random strangers.  Sounds interesting enough, so let’s try it.

The first 10 people I see consist of guys whacking off and 2 really fat chicks.  Although that may be appealing to some, The Skunk would rather not see that.  After about 5 minutes I am connected with a cute chick from Oregon.  She is a student at OSU.  We share small talk, and she leaves.  I continue on my search.  Within a few minutes I run across a shirtless guy smoking a joint.  His name is Bob, and he is from France.  We exchange pleasantries on the art of smoking up.  I conclude that Shirtless Bob is a cool Kat.  I will have to visit France sometime soon, as it appears their weed is of high quality.  Shirtless Bob invites me to visit, I hit next!  I continue on my search.  I see more cock.  There sure is a lot of cock on this site.  Next two teenage girls, I move on.  Eventually I meet three people from Holland, one woman and two men.  I try to convince them I am a famous movie star from LA.  I look like Noah Wiley from “ER”…but they are on to me.  They all agree I’m not famous.  I tell them I am a writer, and they will be featured on my blog.  I tell them to make the story more interesting.  They ask me if I would like to see them fuck.  I agree.  They make a deal with me, if I can suck my own cock, they will fuck for me.  I tell them if I was capable of such things, I would not be on the internet.  They leave.  I cycle through another hundred freaks.  I officially conclude that this site has sexual predator written all over it.  This site should be shut down ASAP!  As fucked up as I am, this site reminds me I am very normal compared to the masses…how fucked up is that?   Conclusion, Chatroulette is a fucking waste of time, unless you are into watching freaks and flashers.  As hot as that normally would sound…it’s just weird!    

-The Skunk

-The Skunk!

For this segment of “Letters to” I will write a love letter to Maria Ozawa.  For those of you who may not know who Maria Ozawa is, you either live under a rock, or you’re not a fan of Japanese porn.  I was exposed to Ms. Ozawa about 8 months ago while scouting new talent for my S90XXX Personal Training program.(Read about the Program HERE and you’ll get it!)  Now, a bit of warning, this blog post will be raunchy, after all, I am writing to my favorite porn star.  So if you are the church going type please skip this post.  I’m also writing this letter in the slightest hope she may actually read this letter someday and feel moved to meet The Skunk!

My Dear Maria,

I know this letter must come as a shock to you, as we haven’t met.  I am however compelled to write you, and profess my undying love to you.  I feel in love with you the very first time I saw your beautiful face.  You have the most innocent face I have ever seen.  If I were God, I would imagine all my angels would be created in your form.  You must be asking yourself “Who is this Skunk?”  So I feel that it is only fair to formally introduce myself to you.

Maria, my name is The Skunk.  I am a 32 year old professional man.  I live in the United States, and drive my own car, a Toyota, as I like all things that are Japanese.  I have a nice apartment, and a LCD TV.  I am very handsome.  I stand 185.4 CM tall, and weigh 86 kg.  I am a white Skunk, with a black interior (at least that’s what my black friends tell me).  In America I am known as a famous writer and comedian.  I have millions of followers, and I am VERY popular with the ladies.  I like the cinema and long walks on the beach.  I also love water sports (All kinds if you know what I mean).  I also enjoy reading and watching porn.  I have also starred in a couple low budget adult films, so we have that in common.   When you write me back I will send you pictures.  If you want to know more about me I suggest you read my blog, or my new book (Out sometime in fall of 2010.)(Shameless Plug)

So you must be asking yourself, “Why does this man love me?”  It’s very simple really.  Call it love at first stroke if you will.  But does it really have to be difficult, or can a man simply fall in love by watching you perform sexual acts on a group of horny Japanese men?  I feel in love with your sensuality, how you kiss a man before you allow him to enter you.  I imagine you kissing me, and then licking my neck, nipples, balls, and ass.  I love how passionately you suck a man’s cock.    You use your tongue like a fucking pro!  It’s really an amazing sight to see you please your partners.  And it only gets better when you disrobe and show the world your flawless body.  Your tits are amazing.  What man couldn’t love a rack like that?  Even gay guys go crazy over tits like yours!  And it gets even better when I see your amazing natural bush.  I know most guys like a clean shaved pussy, but Maria, your pussy is perfect being 100% natural.  To me, it tells me you’re a woman… and I like women!  I imagine that hairy bush sitting on my face for hours every day.  I could eat your sushi for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.  Maria, I am in love with you, and I can’t imagine not having you in my life.

Sure, I see you three to four times a day, but it’s just not enough.  I need to have you in my bed.  I want to wake up next to you, and have you fall asleep in my warm embrace.  Is this too much to ask?  Can you make my dreams come true?

Maria, I know this must be very overwhelming to be loved by The Skunk.  But trust me, you are very fortunate.  There are many women who want my love, but I can only give my heart to you Maria, my one true love.  You are my skunk mate, and I am incomplete without you.  I hope you feel the same way.

If you would like to meet me, please have your people contact my people.  I will arrange for my private jet to take me to you.  If you decide to be with me, I will make you the happiest little Japanese porn star in the world.   I will stand by you and encourage your career.  I think a woman with a career is very sexy!  Just don’t get too tired at work baby, because The Skunk has needs too.

I hope to hear from you soon my love.  Until then, I will be patiently waiting, wanting, and needing you.

Love Always,

-The Skunk

PS.  Are you STD free?  If not, please ignore this letter.

I know you are somewhere in my car.  I’m not sure what you are, or where you are, but I am sure you smell like death.  What I don’t understand is where you are hiding.  My car is spotless.  There isn’t a single piece of garbage in my entire ride…however the smell begs to differ. 

You came to me in what was a warming trend last week.  At first I thought you may be just some stench from the wet floor mats, but now I think you are something far worse.  I went through my entire car looking for you, but atlas you are very elusive. Yesterday my kids got into my car, my daughter said “Daddy, it smells like a skunk in here.”  little does she know her daddy is The Skunk.  Just this morning I entered my car and was hit by your repulsive stench.  I again tore my car apart looking for you.  But you are nowhere to be found.  I am convinced you are some creature that has died in my engine… I will look after work.  If you get this letter before I find you please take warning, you will be firmly eliminated from my vehicle, and the funk of The Skunk will prevail yet again!

 -The Skunk

This week I will be working on 2-4 more stories for the book.  Additionally, I have been working on a “Letter to” for the blog that I hope to have posted this week.  If you haven’t had a chance to read “S90XXX Fitness Program” please give it a read.  My friend almost pissed himself Saturday while reading it…so don’t miss out on the possible pants wetting experience. 

Additionally, I will have the first “Skunk Junk” posted by the end of the week.  Expect 2-4 products for purchase.  I’m really looking forward to this section of my site.  I will be putting the items up on Café Press until we get enough demand to do mass production.  I will also be setting up a form for Pre-Orders of the book.  I will do a self publish of 100-300 copies before approaching a publisher.  These will be collector editions, so be sure to sign-up when I post the pre-order. 

 As a side note, I just wanted to thank all my loyal readers.  You have inspired me to do something I have always dreamed of doing.  Please comment on my posts as much as possible.  I read and respond to all comments.  Also, if you could help spread the word on Facebook, E-mail, and Twitter I would appreciate it. The Skunk Blog is a 100% grassroots effort and I am forever grateful to my readers for spreading the word.

-The Skunk

 Skunk S90XXX Fitness Program

Welcome to the S90XXX training program.  This program is intended for those who seek to improve their mental and physical health.  S90XXX is a grueling 9 week training program intended to help you reach sexual nirvana.  Please talk to your physician before starting any exercise program.

Week 1- Conditioning

The first week will be simply used for conditioning.  You will work independently. 

Diet:

Breakfast:  Two oranges and a yogurt.

Lunch: Anything you want under 1000 calories

Dinner: Protein Shake and Salad.

Exercise:

Morning:

• 5 minutes of streching
• 25 minutes of moderate masturbation.  Men, only 1 orgasm.  Women, no more than 3 orgasms. 

Evening:

• 100 crunches
• 10 pushups
• 35 minutes of moderate masturbation.
• 15 Minutes of high intensity masturbation.  Men, at least 2 orgasms.  Women, Minimum of 3 orgasms.

Repeat daily for the first six days.  Rest on Sunday, this is Gods day! 

Week 2- Trimming

In this week you will dedicate yourself to trimming your waistline.  Each day will consist of two workout sessions.  The morning session will be a solo session.  Your evening session will require a workout partner. 

Diet:  

Breakfast:  Two apples and a yogurt.

Lunch: Anything you want under 800 calories

Dinner: Salad with 6 oz of protein of your choice

Exercise:

 Morning:

• 5 minutes of stretching.
•  15 minutes of moderate masturbation. 
• 25 minutes of high intensity masturbation. 
• Minimum of 1 orgasm for both men and women.  No more than two orgasms for morning masturbation session.
• 150 crunches
• 15 pushups

 Evening: (Requires Workout Partner)

• 5 minutes of stretching
• 150 crunches
• 15 pushups
• 15 minutes of oral sex giving
• 15 minutes of oral sex receiving
• 10 minutes of moderate missionary sex.
• 15 Minutes of moderate Cowgirl sex
• 15 Minutes of high intensity doggy style.
• Minimum of 1 orgasm for both men and women.  No more than four orgasms for evening sessions.

 Bonus Calorie burning:

 Add these exercises for a more intense workout session. (Pick two)

• 5 Minutes of 69
• 5 Minutes of high intensity missionary
• 5 minutes of high intensity Cowgirl
• 25 ass smacks

Repeat daily for the first Five days.  Rest on Sunday, this is Gods day!

Week 3: Group Training

Group training is essential to any workout program. Group participation encourages individuals to push themselves in achieving their body sculpting needs.  If you are looking for group participants we suggest you sign up for Adult Friend Finder (AFF) or Swapper.net.  You may also find workout partners at your local swingers club.  You can always Google “Swinging Workout Partners.” to find other people participating in the S90XXX program.

Diet:

Breakfast:  10 oz of pineapple and a yogurt. (Pineapple has been proven to make spunk taste good!)

Lunch: Anything you want under 600 calories

Dinner: Protein Shake and Salad.  (Women may replace protein shake with 3 average to large size servings of semen.)

 Exercise:

Morning: Requires 1 workout partner

• 5 minutes of stretching
• 300 crunches
• 25 pushups
• 5 minutes of oral sex giving
• 5 minutes of oral sex receiving
• 5 minutes of moderate missionary sex.
• 5 Minutes of high intensity Cowgirl sex
• 5 Minutes of moderate doggy style.
• 5 minutes of intense sex, any position
• Minimum of 1 orgasm for both men and women.  No more than two orgasms for evening sessions.

 Evening: Requires a minimum of 3 workout partners, with preferred class size of 10+

• 5 minutes of stretching
• 300 crunches
• 25 pushups
• 9 minutes of oral sex giving.  Rotate every 3 minutes to new workout partner
• 9 minutes of oral sex receiving.  Rotate every 3 minutes to new workout partner
• 10 minutes of moderate sex.  Rotate after 5 minutes to a new workout partner.
• 5 Minutes of high intensity train sex.  Minimum train should be 3-5 workout partners.
• 15 Minutes of moderate doggy style.  Rotate every 5 minutes to a new workout partner
• 5 minutes of intense sex, any position.  Bonus points for anal or double penetration.
• Minimum of 3 orgasms for both men and women.  No more than five orgasms for evening sessions.

You should work out a minimum of 5 days for best results.  You can work out on Sunday; you’re going to burn in hell anyways!

Repeat weeks 2 and 3 for the duration of your workout plan.  Guaranteed results in only two weeks!  Read what some of our customers are saying:

“S90XXX saved my life!  I have lost 4 dress sizes in only 3 weeks.  The group workout sessions blew my mind!”

-Debbie, Dallas

“S90XXX is amazing.  The program is very flexible, and I have had amazing results.  I rotate in a conditioning week every month.”

 John, NYC

“S90XXX is like sex, but only better!”

Sally, LA

“S90XXX has made me feel 15 years younger.  People stop when they see my new rock hard body!”

Tim, SD

“S90XXX is amazing.  I have the body of an 18 year old again!”

Betty, St. Louis

S90XXX allows you to take control of your life, and your body.  Feel young again, and have fun doing it.  For a limited time only, the S90XXX is 100% free.  All we ask is that you send pictures of your workouts and before and after pictures.  That’s right 100% free!!  Act now before this offer is gone!

S90XXX is a high intensity workout program.  Please consult with your physician before starting on the S90XXX program.  Safe sex is encourage, but not required.

-The Skunk